Give In
by jaimerent1991
Summary: PostRENTAbout Mark moving on with his life and his friendship with Roger after Mimi dies. Also, about him learning to love. MarkOC
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: First Fanfiction Alert. Please read. This is just the first chapter and is only part of the main plot. The Roger/Mark thing is strictly friendship and them working stuff out. Mainly it is about Mark and his love intrest.

Disclaimer: I don't own RENT. Sadly.

He hadn't been able to look at him lately. A passing glance here and there, courteous words and acknowledgements sure, but he hadn't truly looked at him for the past month. Avoidance was the one strategy Mark hadn't tried after April. He did everything in his power to help in that time which seemed so long ago. In reality it was only two and a half years ago. But somehow, this was worse. If he looked straight on into his fading green eyes, he would see what he feared. The already deteriorating health looking worse and worse. It wasn't the virus that was getting to him. It was something deeper inside. A piece of Roger was missing. The little hope that he had was gone.

That was what she was. A moving picture blazing with spirit for him to watch and live vicariously through. If she could live like this, who would dare tell him that he couldn't. Her fire renewed him in a way no one else could. Not April, Not Mark.

But that part of his life was over. Mark feared to look into the pale, unrecognizable shadow that his best friend had become. There was only one constant left for him. A companion that was unfailing. His camera. The film in his camera seemed to run itself out. Burning away like time. He filmed everything there was to film. The consistency was what drew him to it. No matter where he was, through that prophetic lens it was still the same view. The view that he had had before Roger got AIDS, before Maureen met Joanne. It was a relief reeling him back to the past.

That was the only way he could look at Roger at all. Through the camera. It was a shield. He would film him in moments where he could go unnoticed. Rogers hair looked brittle and skin loose. Vacant gazes were cemented on his face. Smiles were a rare gift. Music, unknown. It ever existing in the cold and empty loft was unbelievable to Mark.

He could never tell him what he thought though. That he was wasting precious time sulking. He should listen to what Mimi had told him, to what Life Support had told him. Mimi would have wanted him to live. Mark knew that if Roger would go back to life support there was a chance he could move on. He needed the group behind him. He hoped every time Collins called that Roger would go to the phone. More than anything, Mark wanted to help.

Mark fumbled with his camera as he walked worriedly down the dingy sidewalk. He grew more anxious with every step. He prayed that when he returned to the loft a boyishly grinning Roger would great him animatedly telling him about the song he just wrote. He knew this was an ignorant hope.

As he turned the key reluctantly, preferring the fantasy he had built in his mind, reality sunk in. The dismal air weighed him down. Roger was sitting on the couch eating a poptart senseless and emotionless. It was a sad, pathetic sight. Mark broke the silence

"Hey Rog"

"Hi" he murmured.

"So...",Mark hesitated, "What are you doing tonight?"

He set down his food and looked up at Mark weakly. Mark saw what he had been dreading. The deathlike void in his eyes. He couldn't look at him any longer. He needed to get out.

"Ok, well see ya" he turned and walked to his room quickly.

"Wait" Rogers voice said dimly.

Mark turned around slightly shocked by Rogers want for him to stay. "Yeah, Roger?" he questioned gently.

He stared at Mark. "Collins called a little while ago. Paul died"

Mark stood mindlessly unsure of what to say. How was he supposed to respond? Paul had been the backbone of Life Support. He was beyond human to all of them. The possibility that this superman could die made the prospect of AIDS become if possible more real.

"Oh..." he responded. He silently kicked himself for the idiotic response

"They want Collins to take over life support."

In spite of the situation, he couldn't help but feel a small amount of happiness. This would be good for Collins. It had been over a year since the death of Angel. Collins motivation and energy had been passing more each day. As if each day took a lot out of him. Collins having something to wake up for would be good for him.

Mark decided as long as they were talking about it, now would be a good time to bring it up. He decided to say it fast.

"Roger, I think you should go" he stated firmly.

Rogers eyes showed the first emotion Mark had seen. Anger flashed "Are you kidding me, Mark?"

"Well.." Mark was slightly defeated "It's just that with Collins and..."

"No" he said defiantly. His anger was rising.

Mark couldn't take it anymore. He was trying to help. Roger needed to let him "Damn it Roger! You can't do this again! You need to..."

Roger pushed himself of the couch, "Don't you dare say that I need to move on." he spoke in a gravely whisper, "Who the hell are you to tell me what I need to do. You have no idea what the hell you are talking about. You don't get it, Mark. You've never been in love. You've never loved anything like I loved her. So don't go preaching on something you couldn't even possibly understand. Don't tell me what I can and cannot do" He stormed into his room.

If this had happened last month, Mark would have followed him and given him hell for the shit he had just pulled. But he couldn't. He didn't want to upset him even more. Mark looked up at the clock. If Roger wasn't going to go to Life Support, he was.

Authors Note: So...like it? hate it? comment please!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own anything except Laura

Mark entered the near-empty community center quietly. He thought it was ironic that of all of the people in the city with AIDS, this group reached an all-time high if 15 people sowed up. The session had already started. He hated his tendencies to be late Especially since nothing went unnoticed by Collins

"Hey man" Collins grinned and pulled him into a tight hug. "Guys, this is Mark Cohen. One of my best friends."

Mark blushed and raised his hand in a slight wave.

"Sit down" Collins smiled and pulled another chair into the circle. He noticed the camera in Marks hand. "I thought you were done with that documentary?"

"Well.." Mark looked down at the ground. "I am. But I don't know, I was kind of hoping if I filmed maybe Roger would watch and want to come back."

Collins touched his friends shoulder. "OK, well let's begin."

Mark turned on his camera and glanced around the group. They were all new faces. Everyone from the first meeting he went to...Gordon, Pam, Sue, Paul and all of the rest were gone now. Collins was the only one left from that Christmas Eve meeting. There were 9 people in the circle including him. The new people were a gay couple holding each others hands comfortably, a woman in a suit with bags under her eyes, a man, a woman who looked in her mid 30's and one girl who looked way younger than everyone else in the circle. "She can't be much older than 20" Mark mused to himself. Of course, Mimi had been 18 when she got AIDS, but Mimi always appeared older than her age. This girl looked young and hopeful. He focused his camera on her.

She was sitting cross legged on her chair with her elbows resting on her legs, slightly leaned forward. She had her head slightly cocked to the right side. She was wearing faded jeans and swimming in a baggy button down white cotton shirt over a tank top. She had brown hair which fell limply below her shoulders. Her face looked lost, confused. She was pretty though. Mark zoomed his camera in on her face. She had big green eyes that gave off an intelligent gleam. For some reason her eyes made Marks stomach sink.

Collins clapped his hands together, "Alright. Since this is your first meeting Laura, why don't you start." The girl that Mark had been watching shifted in her seat.

"Oh" the girl gave a look of impending dread. Then she shook her head and gave a nervous laugh. "Umm...hi, I'm Laura. Which...you already knew." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I'll be 23 in January" Mark was surprised because she looked much younger. The girl, Laura, threw an uncertain glance at Collins. She gave the nervous giggle she had given before. "I'm not really sure what I should be saying."

Collins prompted her. "How about, why you are here, Laura."

"Ok. Well...I just graduated college." She smiled slightly, "Thank god, right?" Her eyes displayed a sarcastic twinkle. Mark smiled along with her, despite himself. "There's this guy," Mark felt his smile fade. "Charlie. We had started dating during our sophomore year. He was my best friend." She looked down to the ground. "He was my first love" She sighed and looked back up. "So during our senior year, he said he needed to talk to me about something important. He took my hands and he told me he loved me so much, but I needed to know that he'd been cheating on me for the past five months with another guy. We talked and cried...and yeah. So that had happened in February and we hadn't really talked for a few months, but then I get this call from him saying I should go down to the clinic to get tested. Apparently the guy he was with wasn't a very clean guy. So I went, and sure enough." She opened her arms, not needing to say what she found out. She looked around the circle "I am trying to forgive him. Honestly I am." She shrugged her shoulders slightly. "I mean, he didn't do it on purpose, you know?"

She was young, sweet and naive. "Mimi would have hated her" Mark laughed lightly to himself.

"Well," she smiled, "I've been stealing all the conversation. Next?" she joked.

Mark was enamored.


End file.
